Coffeeneuring 2020 Week #6: Lookout Mountain Adventure Loop

hike-a-bike

Coffeeneuring: riding bikes, drinking coffee, seven times, seven places, seven weeks; there's some rules.  

 

 

About the ride: The Book Club Boys ride again! At the northern end of Lookout Mountain, a proverbial smörgåsbord of gravel and singletrack can be linked together by a series of gravel paths, singletrack, hike-a-bike, and a scenic highway. I call it the Lookout Mountain Adventure Loop and it is my favorite local ride. It's roughly 32 miles and I decided to ride it for coffeeneuring week #6 and my annual birthday "challenge.*" 

 

We rendezvous'd at Reid's at 6:30 and caught the sun rising from the Guild Trail. Mid-November changed the dynamic of the ride completely. The sea of leaves that carpeted the trail made the finer gravel of the Guild-Hardy system lovely and made the extra chunky stuff on the Upper Truck and the CCT's techy singletrack... exciting. The flowy part of Upper Truck, the scenery along Jackson Springs Trail, and the sustained descent down Ochs Highway are highlights for me. Such a fun ride with friends.

nice dirt road

About the coffee: We made coffee at the Gum Springs Trail intersection and got lots of strange looks from trail runners. Just some dudes in the woods making coffee. The moka pot is my first coffee love, however it's been largely neglected the past year. This week I returned to my roots and rekindled an old flame. The only "fancy" methodology used here was pre-boiling the water before filling the chamber and placing an Aeropress filter between the grounds and the gasket. The paper filter cuts the acidity and bitterness that the moka pot can be known for but still produces a bold and powerful cup. We split it three ways and cut it with water for trail americanos. Everyone approved. 

Date: 11.14.20

Location: 35°00'17.2"N 85°21'12.4"W

Bike: Shanina

Coffee: moka pot americano

Miles: 32 (strava)

book club boys

*I do this loop regularly and recognize that 32 miles on a bike is not all that impressive. Therefore, this birthday challenge is neither spectacular nor particularly physically challenging. This year, the focus was FUN. 

Coffeeneuring 2020 Week #2: East Chattanooga Triple Crown Death March

Max dropping in the slab at Bauxite Ridge

 

 

Coffeeneuring: riding bikes, drinking coffee, seven times, seven places, seven weeks; there's some rules. 

 

This week's entry mashes two potatoes with one fork: coffeeneuring week #2 and Max's Birthday Challenge ride. Max chose to celebrate his 29th birthday by riding 29 mountain bike trails at 3 different trail systems connected by roads in eastern Chattanooga. Reid and I tagged along (and made some coffee) for a very mega day. I have named this route the East Chattanooga Triple Crown Death March. 

 

About the ride: My favorite rides are adventurous and topographically diverse routes that require your bike to do everything from road to gravel to singletrack. This ride met those requirements and added the unnecessary and "unbibbed" challenge of pushing yourself to your physical limits. We started at Enterprise South, headed over to White Oak Mountain, and finally Bauxite Ridge. Max did all or most of the trails at each and Reid and I did all that our rigid MTBs and grundles would allow. Max finished with a hard-earned 50 miles, Reid with 20, and I with 36. Max and I both crashed within the last quarter mile of the ride, which I think illustrates the level of bonk we had reached. It was a very good day.

making "cowboy coffee 2.0" while Max rides a black diamond trail

About the coffee: This week I used the MSR Mugmate as my brewing method. From a utilitarian perspective the Mugmate is hard to beat. This recipe is a kind of "cowboy coffee 2.0" where the grounds (I used a 13:1 ratio) steep in boiled water for 2-4 minutes and are then filtered through the Mugmate into your cup. Cowboy coffee gives a smooth cup that's less bitter and the Mugmate keeps the grounds from getting your mug and teeth. A good bean, well-roasted, and coarsely ground would give you a truly decadent cup of coffee by any coffee-snobbery standard. This week I just used the Aldi brand equivalent of Folgers and it was still tasty.

 

Date: 10.18.2020

Location: 35.0777° N, 85.1256° W

Bike: Shanina

Coffee: Beaumont Coffee Classic Roast (Aldi Brand), MSR Mugmate, 13:1

Miles: 35.98 (strava)

Reid on the quiet, pine needle covered singletrack of the Black Forest Trail at ESNP

The Birthday Challenge: THE ULTRA DADDY

This year was "Chet's Fourth Semi-Annual Birthday Challenge Bonanza" -- a number corresponding endurance objective to celebrate another trip around the sun. This year I ran my first ultramarathon, a 50K, or 31 miles for 31 years. No race. No medal. No t-shirt. Not even a bib number. Just a dumb idea I had about running circles in the woods. My good friend, climbing partner, and sufferfest connoisseur Josh ran Lookout Mountain's Big Daddy Loop three times with me -- THE ULTRA DADDY! 

Sidenote: I kind of burnt out on training and though I ran 13 trail miles pretty consistently, I never ran any more than that at a time. So everything I would experience after mile 13 was a mystery. Neat!

The first loop was legit fun. My wife Becca ran with us and it went by fast. I enjoyed listening to her and Josh talk about their nursing professions. We all felt really good, we ran at pretty good clip, and we had a really good time. Despite running in shorts I wore all throughout my training, I was experiencing some pretty bad chafing. Other than that, it was "Type 1 Fun."

My truck served as our "aid station" where Josh and I said goodbye to Becca then shoved some mini turkey wraps down our gullets, split a small can of Red Bull, refilled our water, dealt with our chafing issues and hit the trail again.

The second loop started off fun. Just the two of us, Josh and I talked about life and the meaning of life and social constructs and deconstruction and the appeal of Buddhism and so on and so forth. But somewhere around mile 17 or 18 we started talking more and more about what body parts were hurting the most. We made it back to the truck with stiff knees and high spirits and my sister-in-law Laura, her husband Max, and my sweet baby niece Ruby were in the parking lot.

Max joined us for the third loop, which was hell. It was tough to leave the comfort of my truck's tailgate and my right knee was really starting to yell at me but Max kept our spirits high. We were now running a little over a 14 minute mile which would devolve into a 15 minute mile and everything was a dull pain. At the marathon distance, however, Josh and I hit a wall. My right knee and my left foot were excruciating and my muscles were starting to really fatigue. The chafing that started in the first loop was starting to hurt again.

As we made the approach down toward the John Smartt trail ( a ≈ 1.7 mile uphill that gains ≈ 1,700 ft in elevation from the valley to the bluff) I was looking forward to my knees getting a "rest" going up. At Skyuka Spring we slammed some goo and made the now-ever-so-slow "speed hike" up the mountain. Of course, the rest was only a redistributing of pain from my knees to my quads.

At the crest of the bluff line, I was only 2 miles away from my Birthday Challenge goal and I was determined to "run" the rest of the way to 31. Those may be the hardest two miles of my life. Unfortunately, when we reached 31, we still had another two and a half miles to go before making the last turn downhill to the truck.

Somewhere, I remember Brendan Leonard (semi-rad.com) saying something about his goals for his next ultramarathon and wanting to "run most of the downhills." I remember thinking "the downhill? that's the easy part!" But that last 11 mile loop, I understood.

Each step downhill, no matter how small, felt like an actual endeavor in and of itself. We were passed by other runners and I wanted so desperately to protect my pride and tell them "this is our third loop!" or "we're on mile 28!" One pair of runners must have taken us for a trio of n00bs, asking us just a mile or so from the parking lot if we had headlamps because surely there was no way these two grandpas and one tall redhead would make it to their cars before dark!

Well, we didn't. But we did have headlamps. And when we got there, several friends were waiting, cheering us on and making a tunnel with their arms to run through. Josh and I cheers'd and exchanged hugs with folks before heading to Max and Laura's for pizza and ice cream. It was perfect. 

So very very very thankful for Rebecca who ran with us and planned the finish line and after party; Max who ran with us; Laura who drove up the mountain TWICE with baby Ruby (MVP!); Reid and Leah and Paul who showed up at the finish line to wish me a happy birthday; and to Josh who is always down to do hard things in the mountains with me. Next year, I think I'll go bouldering.

The ultra-daddy:

The Birthday Challenge: 3,000 for 30

The birthday challenge is a number corresponding endurance objective. I've attempted a birthday climbing challenge three times before and have come up short that many times. When I turned 25 I attempted to climb 25 routes at the Obed but I got rained out. For my 27th birthday I attempted to climb 2,700 ft in a day but ran out of daylight. When I turned 30 last November I tried to climb 3,000 ft in a weekend -- my "El Cap birthday" -- but arrived at a cliff encased in ice and gushing with water. I felt cursed, dejected, and disappointed. As we hiked back to the truck Russ and I agreed to come back to Table Rock in March after his 30th birthday but I was not hopeful.

Table Rock hosts a slew of low grade multipitch which makes it a perfect candidate for high mileage objectives. Accessible grades can make for crowded Saturdays but the road to Table Rock was still gated off for the winter so we figured we could avoid some of the circus-like conditions by backpacking in via the Table Rock Gap Trail. This was my first climbing trip that required hiking in the tent, sleeping bags, food, water, and the rope and rack. We packed light and smart but it was still heavier than anything I ever carried as a backpacking guide.

late night start

We arrived at the Table Rock Gap trailhead at 12:30 AM and decided to hike up to the base of the cliff and camp that night. The TRG trail is steep, indeed very steep in places, but -- in my opinion -- beat the heck out of hiking up the paved road to Table Rock.

We woke up around 7:30 AM to powerful windy conditions that forced us to cook under the vestibule. A couple pouches of oatmeal and a shared cup of coffee later we hiked to the base of our first route -- Jim Dandy (5.4). Though we were alone at the campground we arrived at the route to find several climbers roping up ahead of us -- an Outward Bound guide training course. They promised a crowded cliff for the day and just like that, I perceived our goal already slipping away from us. However, they let us climb through and we managed to dodge them for the rest of the day. Huzzah!

Russ on the "Block Route"

Before lunch, and without any simul-climbing, we climbed 1, 500 ft. in sixteen-ish pitches using the three pitch Jim Dandy as our access point.

Jim Dandy + p3 of Cave Route AKA Block Route + Lightning Ledge Scramble (LLS)
Jim Dandy + K-Mart Special + LLS
Jim Dandy + My Route

My Route was exceptional. P1 takes off from the Lunch Ledge for 150 ft to a cozy belay. Small enough to feel the exposure, big enough to sit and dangle your legs over the abyss, with views of the rolling hills of western North Carolina --  if I were to create a Top 10 list of things that make me happy, belay ledges like this would be on there. Russ took p2 which holds the mental and possibly physical crux of the 5.6 route -- an airy move out from the roof of the dihedral to a slab. It's so good! Finally, p3 (the sixth pitch at that point) takes you to the summit proper for a fun ride.

a little tribute to Kyle Dempster

We escaped back to the tent for lunch -- tuna packets and tortillas and some instant "iced" coffee. Russ was feeling a bit disappointed that our objective felt so easy. I, on the other hand, who had hardly slept the night before, felt good but the sleepiness was creeping in.

The weather report gave us windy emojis and windy it was. Powerful and consistent gusts made the trees bend and move like those used car dealership inflatable tube men. (The nearest town recorded 27 mph winds.) But the eastern face of Table Rock had, thus far, guarded us from the gales. That is, until we climbed the North Ridge.

Russ coming up "My Route"

The North Ridge (5.5) sits on the northern nose of Table Rock and catches a lot of wind even on a non-windy day. The friendly wind emojis of the apple weather app felt like fierce hurricane like gusts at the base of the route. In all my years of climbing, though admittedly very little in the alpine, this was the windiest I have ever climbed in. It was wild. The rope blowing beneath me. My fingers entirely numb. Completely incapable of verbal communication with my partner. A few gusts felt like they might actually blow me off the wall. It was as full value as 5.5 gets and we were worked.

The last route of the day was a repeat of Jim Dandy to Block Route to the Lightning Ledge scramble and at this point, with all the miles of running and/or hiking in between routes, each high step on the slabs felt like the last set of lunges in the gym. I was wiped but by the end of the day we had climbed 2,270 of our 3,000 ft. objective.

bed time at Table Rock

Thursday night I probably slept a collective 2 hours. But Friday night, I crawled into my tent at 7:30 PM and didn't wake up until after 8:00 AM. We were less than 1,000 ft away from our goal and the next whole day ahead of us. But my body was feeling it. My quads were sore from the hiking and running. My calves were tight from the thousands of feet of slabbing. My back was wrecked by pulling and belaying hundreds and hundreds of meters of rope all day. The remaining routes would be no cake walk.

And they were not.

We started at Peek-a-Boo. Despite its mega-fun namesake move, the route had left a mysterious and bad taste in my mouth. The last time I climbed Peek-a-Boo was for my 27th birthday challenge. It was the route in which  the increased risk of simul-climbing registered in my mind and I also had gotten off route at some point and I didn't remember where.

It's worth mentioning at this point, and probably worth a separate post, that for the last year my lead head has been wonky. Sometimes some things just freak me out. I get inexplicably scared and problem solving and decision making take longer than usual. All this sounds rather silly when discussing a one-move-wonder 5.5 route, but it happened. And it happened worse than ever before. Elvis leg almost pushed me off the p2 traverse. The crux "peek-a-boo" move crippled me. At anchors I even forgot how to tie my clove hitch. At summit, unroped, I freaked out when Russ stepped closer to the edge than I would have liked him to. He snapped a loving but emphatic, "dude! what is wrong with you?" I had, and still have, an idea what was wrong with me but I didn't want to discuss it there nor do I want to write about it here.

Upon further inspection, Russ and I had done the 5.9 variation of the second pitch, which might have eased the embarrassment of my freak out but that had begun at the base of the route

Despite my uncharacteristic panic attack, pitches 1-2 of Peek-a-Boo is a wonderful climb. The third pitch however,  is a wandering, rope-draggy, licheny, forest fire scorched, vegetated horror-fest. If I could do it again, I would rap from the p2 anchors of Peek-a-Boo and swing over to the p2 anchors of Jim Dandy and run over to the Lunch Ledge to link up with My Route for a perfect day of classic and exciting 5.fun climbing.

Instead, we split p3 into two insufferable pitches which included a belay built -- as I found out -- in an ant bed. The thing tops out just to the right of the lightning ledge scramble and we made our way back down to our stash of water. We ditched the cams, packed a PBR, and more our way back to the east face.

Russ on p2 of "Jim Dandy" for 3756th time

This was it. One more trip up the mountain. We wanted to finish with My Route and lead the pitches we followed last time but a party was on it with a party behind them. And since another party was on Block Route as well, we decided to finish with K-Mart Special despite its high first bolt through a sea of crunchy and slippery lichen. "Whatever gets us to beer quicker," Russ said.

And we were off -- the last pitch of the day.

The mental exhaustion started to get even to Russ who seemingly just realized how much space was between the slab bolt and the fixed pin in the roof above. He placed a red C3 that walked out as soon as he moved above it. The objective he thought would be too easy was decidedly more difficult than he expected. The physical fatigue had really set in for both of us. Huffing and puffing each 5.6 move like it was a 5.12. I scarce remember a time of being so worn out.

And that's exactly it. We weren't pumped, we were exhausted from hiking with heavy loads; from not sleeping great; from running and hiking 1.5 miles between every route; from slabbing up Jim Dandy a trillion times; from pulling rope after every pitch; from belaying every pitch; from thinking through route finding and dehydration, and wind, and a panic attack. It was the exhaustion of collective of variables.  

As we coiled the rope at the Lightning Ledge and prepared to make our final scramble to the summit, I asked Russ if he thought finishing our goal would be anti-climatic. I don't really remember what he said but I think it amounted to "no."

I expected to crest the summit hooting and hollering, giving a resound "skee-yee!" as I often do when I clip the anchors of a proud send but there was no hooting and no hollering. There was only a solid high five, followed by a fist bump, and lastly a hug. We were done and it felt good. It was not an ecstatic finish as I expected but it was not the anti-climatic end I had wondered about a hundred feet below. Instead, it was the quiet contentment of accomplishing a long held goal with your best friend since second grade. And it doesn't really get any better than that. We shared the best tasting PBR I've ever had, asked a couple of hikers for a photo, and began our descent to our tent and finally to my truck. It really doesn't get much better than that. 

*fin

TL;DR

We used mountain project as our source for route lengths and figured the the Lightning Ledge Scramble to be about 100 feet. Ipso facto, Peek-a-Boo (400 ft.) + LLS (100 ft.) = 500 ft. If I could do it over again I would use another access route to the Lunch Ledge, like Cave Route besides Jim Dandy. I would rappel from p2 of Peek-a-Boo to Jim Dandy and link-up with My Route. And the MP forums have also informed me of a water source at Table Rock that would have eliminated hiking in so much water weight. Otherwise, it ruled.

Some Thoughts on Turning 25

the birthday people laughing about our failed 13b attempts

For all of our freakish similarities, my sister and I have two very different notions about birthdays. For Annie, it's not just a birthday, it's a "birthday month" full of small treats, large dinners, and pinterest worthy parties. I on the other hand take a more Ron Swanson approach. I don't like loud noises, I don't like people making a fuss, and I think birthdays were invented by Hallmark to sell birthday cards. Birthdays are just another day that just so happens to be the same day that recurs every other 364 days since the day my mother painfully pushed me out of her whosywhatsy. If anything we should celebrate our mothers on our birthdays.

That being said, your 25th is considered a "milestone." A recent google of "turning 25" brought up a plethora of buzzfeed-esque 25 for 25 lists. "The 25 scariest things about turning 25," "25 things you must know before turning 25," 25 things that get harder after 25" and so on. The related google search? "quarter life crisis." The first result page is full of people having existential crises and websites trying to help those people cope their problems.

And while I'm no stranger to existential crises -- When am I going to put this master's in Old Testament Theology to practice? Where am I going to put this master's in Old Testament Theology to practice? How am I going to pay off all this debt for a master's in Old Testament theology?  -- these moments of crisis come and go faster than it took me to come up with these examples.

Honestly, the thing that haunts me most about "growing up" is the fear of getting fat. So much so that when I recently saw the nurse practitioner about a mysterious cough I had, I anxiously asked her if my height to weight ratio was okay. She laughed at me and said that unless I was worried about being underweight, I'd be fine.

I'll be fine.

Louis C.K. drives it home,  "You'll be fine. You're 25. Feeling unsure and lost is part of your path. Don't avoid it. See what those feelings are showing you and use it. Take a breathe. You'll be okay. Even if you don't feel okay at the time."

He might as well be talking about climbing.

a dry 10b in Little Clear

Which is why I opted to do something different for my 25th birthday. Climbing 25 routes for 25 years beats the hell out of stressing about the future, comparing myself to others, or worse, pretending I like wearing nice clothes and "going out." Living another year seems to me all the more reason to do something rad, not have a quarter life crisis and try to cover it up with copious amounts of alcohol.

And what better fitting way to celebrate the start of my 25th year than with unmet expectations? I didn't climb 25 routes for my 25th birthday. Though I was well on track -- thanks to a day early start -- weather shut me down. The clouds crapped on us and left the rock soaked, even the steep and overhangy ones.

Even without meeting my goal, it was perfect. I spent the weekend with some of the people I love most, doing what I love most: having a good time and climbing. It was spectacular.

Everyone's always asking, "how does it feel to be 25?" Most days I don't feel a day older than 17 or 21, mostly because I still go to school, I still laugh at super long burps, and I still love punk music. I just traded skateboarding for rock climbing. And I'm not some hopeless romantic with an out of control Peter Pan complex.

I'm way more mature in areas that matter: making decisions, articulating decisions, developing world views, trying to be selfless or at least acknowledging when I've been selfish, etc. And yes, I pay bills every month, I have student loans to pay off, I just spent an unexpected $1,400 on car repairs, and every so often I have to spend money on nice clothes I don't want for a friend's wedding I have -- I mean get -- to attend.

Still, I wouldn't go back to being "a kid" for the life of me. Mindy Kaling has an awesomely hilarious memoir, Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me (And Other Concerns) with a chapter titled "Don't Peak in High School" (and I would add college and so on) where she offers a critique of the John Cougar Mellencamp song "Jack and Diane:"

The chorus of "Jack and Diane" is: Oh yeah, life goes on, long after the thrill of living is gone. Are you kidding me? The thrill of living was high school? Come on, Mr. Cougar Mellencamp. Get a life.

Rocky, the world's worst crag dog
being a good crag dog

Being an adult is rad. And it can continue to be rad if you fight for it. And maybe "fighting for it" looks like getting a job and paying some bills. But it also looks a lot like spending a weekend at the Obed with your closest friends and climbing spectacular southeastern cliffs in the cold and the rain.

Special thanks (in order of appearance) to: Brent, for coming a day early to help me get a head start on my ticklist. Jesse, for festering in the rain, bro-ing down in my "natural habitat," tolerating climber lingo, and taking rad pictures. Carol from North Carolina, for being super rad and super cute (call me) and listening to me try to explain my academic endeavors without running away or telling me to shut up. Eli, for showing up and proving to the bonfire crew that I do have friends, for being my friend and climbing partner, and everything else. Rocky the world's worst crag dog, for not being the world's worst crag dog. Jamie, for being my tastefully foul mouthed, delightfully potty brained, wonderfully gutter minded friend and kindred spirit, for the belays, and helping make this weekend happen by being born the day after me. Happy 22nd birthday. Caleb, for showing up later so Carol never saw how dang attractive you are. Eric and Adam from South Carolina, for sharing beta and stoke. See you next weekend. Robin and Vance, for driving all the way from Texas just to hang out! Sorry you got lost. Muriel, for decorating the tent while we were climbing, bringing birthday cake, and always making everyone happy. And a very special thanks to Del and Marty, for the Lilly Pad campground, the southern hospitality, and making the Obed the single greatest climbing experience in the southeast.

What a birthday indeed.