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| Oliver's first hike |
Another year, another list of my favorite things.
Ollie Hikes
Raising our kid in the outdoors was a top priority before Oliver came into the world, and I am proud of the way Rebecca and I got him outside this year. Having a newborn changes everything, including how you get outside, but -- or perhaps "and" is the correct conjunction here -- it is so worth it.
the cortado from Velo Coffee
1:1:1 ratio of espresso, steamed milk, and the sloppy wet kiss of heaven meeting earth
Glen Falls
This was one of our favorite, easy, and accessible hikes when Ollie was really little.
Philosopher of the Heart by Clare Carlisle
Carlisle wrote a biography of Soren Kierkegaard that is beautiful and philosophical yet accessible. She weaves into the narrative of the Danish philosopher's life, probing questions about the human heart and existence. Which is to say, she wrote a delightfully Kierkegaardian biography of Soren Kierkegaard.
This 12-15 mile bike ride has many variations but they all link back alleys, cobblestones, gravel, and single track. It finishes with a can of Old Style at Lo Main in under 90 minutes door-to-door. I love living in a city where I can cram an All Terrain Bicycle ride within city limits while the boy naps. And I love living two blocks from Lo Main.
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| Gravel Camp II |
Gravel Camp II
Tyler, Brooks, Reid, Luke, Josiah, and Chet do it again but this time with single track! A great day trawling around Cherokee National Forest on bikes bogged down with way too much...
Genesee Lager
If you thought a six-pack of Miller High Life for $5.99 was a steal, wait til you hear about this: a 30-pack of Genesee lager costs $16.99 at Food City. That's 57 cents a can. Jerome Powell needs to get in touch with these people because that's Leave It To Beaver-era purchasing power. And it's got that same, great, refreshingly light and crisp mouthfeel and flavor you know and love from more expensive and fancy beers like, Busch.
Jury Duty (Season 1)
Hilarious. Original. Obviously, Ronald Gladden is a national treasure, but Edy Modica stole the show. I knew at least three Jeannies in college and she played the part perfectly.
The Fort Wood Roubaix
Sword of Gondar - Gondar (2019)
Dark, medieval, dungeon synth. When I listen to Gondar, I become Thorin Hammergard of Feldheim, a dwarven warrior on a dangerous quest across rugged peaks to fight a powerful dragon that terrorizes my homeland. My blood-forged battle axe, crafted by the hands of ancestral artificers and infused with their runic magic, glimmers with determination. As the moon rises in the winter sky, I pause to catch my breath and notice glowing eyes in the mountain's recess. I knock the snow off my boots and vow to end the hellkite's reign of terror forever. Oops. I got carried away. Gondar's really good. Favorite tracks: "Crypt Forgotten" is my most-played song of the year.
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| everything good in the world in one picture |
Ollie's first camping trip
We took the boy camping for Rebecca's birthday in October. It was perfect. I can't wait for more.
the Ivory Tower at Tremont Tavern
Smoked turkey and soppressata with house-made jalapeƱo pepper jelly, creamy brie and sharp cheddar cheese on grilled sourdough. I'm drooling just typing about it.
Early Mornings
Outside of alpine starts for big mountain objectives, I'm not much of a morning person. But these days, the hour between 5am and 6am, if I'm lucky, is the only time that is strictly my own. Making coffee, walking the dog, laying on the couch feigning actual sleep -- it's mine.
I'm Scared That's All There Is - Ben Quad (2022)
Emo is a broadly defined genre and its fifth-wave stretches that breadth in new and exciting ways. I'm Scared embraces the genre's midwestern rhythmic complexity and emotive lyrical content yet pushes it in an accessible, hook-driven direction that'll have you singing along to the gang vocals like the pop punk bands of yore. Favorite tracks: "Blood for the Blood God," "We're Gonna Be Here for a While," and "You Gotta Learn to Listen, Lou"
I Think You Should Leave (Season 3)
Tim Robinson swings for the fences. If he is the Albert Pujols of comedy, ITYSL Season 3 is his 2009 St. Louis Cardinals season cause he hit major long ding dongs. Favorite sketches: the VR grocery store game show, the Darmine Doggy Door commercial, and "kids."
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| Josiah perfectly zen'd in Suck Creek in January |
the polar plunge
Josiah preached the evangel of polar plunging and I became one of his converts. The icy baptismal ritual raises adrenaline, dopamine, and norepinephrine levels to generate a feeling of religious ecstasy.
Oliver LOVES this song. Subsequently it is my second-most played song of 2023. So glad it's this and not something like "Baby Shark."
Playing Magic with friends
"Commander is about getting together with friends. Sometimes magic happens." -- Sheldon Menery (R.I.P.)
Riding bikes with friends
"Get a bunch of bikes and ride 'em around with your friends. It's the sh*t." -- Tyler the Creator (still alive)
God Emperor of Dune by Frank Herbert
A near-omniscient 3,500-year-old human-sandworm hybrid intergalactic god emperor tasks his Amazonian warrior princesses to protect him from his great-great-great-great-great-great-whatever granddaughter, Siona. Oh, yeah, and the worm god fostered this descendent by manipulating his dead twin sister's bloodline through a brutal eugenic breeding program. So anyway, Siona seeks to destroy him, but the god emperor already knows. But also, he wants her to? IDK ¯\_(ć)_/¯. God Emperor is Frank Herbert at his weirdest.
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| Eli and Julia in Prentice Cooper State Forest |
Eli and Julia
I saw Eli and Julia twice in the first half of 2023 and I consider myself deeply rich because of it.
Kettlebells
Going for long bike rides with a newborn was out of the question. Even going for neighborhood runs proved difficult. They still are. Thankfully, Reid got me hooked on kettlebells. I can torch my body in the same time it takes Rebecca to feed our son.
This soup recipe
In a big ol' pot:
- sautƩ a diced onion with some minced garlic in olive oil
- throw in some chopped okra, if you have it on hand, you won't regret it
- pour in a carton of chicken broth and a jar of salsa verde
- drain, rinse, and toss in two cans of red beans and a can of white beans
- debone a rotisserie chicken or otherwise cook some chicken, chop it up, and dump it in
- add a bunch of salt, cumin, LOTS of chili powder, TajĆn, and the juice of a lime
- boil, stir, simmer, and serve topped with some sour cream, cheese, and tortilla chips
The Whaler - Home is Where (2023)
Fifth-wave emo that takes the frantic punk energy of Diarrhea Planet, skramz revivalism of I Hate Myself, and the alt-country twang of Uncle Tupelo and throws it all into a blender. Favorite tracks: "Everyday feels like 9/11" and "Daytona 500."
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| kitchen table Magic with the boys |
Male Friendship
Everyone's talking about friends these days. Mostly about folks not having any. Over the summer, The New York Times published "Is the Cure to Male Loneliness Out on the Pickleball Court?" It was, rightfully, lampooned by the internet. You saw the memes. It's not that men aren't lonely; recent data shows that 1 in 6 men don't have a single friend. The article is laughable because it reduces the cause of male loneliness to personal choices of hobbies and glosses over the structural barriers that keep people from having the time, money, and margin for hobbies -- to say nothing of the meaningful communities necessary for vibrant democratic social structures -- in the first place.
Whatever. Men are lonely. Women and non-binary people are lonely too but the narrative has coalesced around men -- something something about toxic masculinity, Donald Trump, mass shootings, and other horrors perpetrated by - mostly - white men who lack healthy community and support networks. (Again, instead of critiquing the diseased system of alienation inherent in late liberal capitalism, most discourse tends to focus on symptoms.)
Whatever. I'm not lonely. I have great friends.
But having a baby is tough. And trying to be a good husband, father, and friend is hard. Combine that with both of us working full-time jobs, and no familial support in town, then throw in some "Senate Intelligence Committee report on CIA Torture" levels of sleep deprivation and relationships suffer.
I have not been a great friend for the last seven months. I've been exhausted, unreliable, absent, and snarky. I've missed bike rides, breakups, and life changes; canceled game nights, camping trips, and dinner plans; I've spoken without thinking and remained silent without realizing. I've had to say sorry a lot this year. I have a newfound appreciation for the Anglican prayer that confesses to God and neighbor, "what we have done" and importantly, "what we have left undone."
Thankfully, I have good and gracious friends who are flexible, persistent, and present. They're men who are open, honest, and forgiving. And they've been there for me when I needed it. "Being there" takes many forms when in you're in your thirties:
- talking about the highs and lows of parenting
- talking about anything other than parenting
- taking the boy for a night so Becca and I can go on a date
- loving me too much to leave me alone*
- inviting me even though I've had to say no a thousand times
- sharing silly memes while we collectively descend further into our capitalist hellworld because laughter is proleptic
Reid has this sweatshirt that says, "Build your boys." The message is simple: support your friends. I have to do a better job of leaning into my friends, especially since we have no family in town. And I think Ollie is finally getting to a place where I can be there for folks the way they've been there for me. I guess that's the dynamic ebb and flow of adult friendship.
Thanks to all the fellas who built their boy (me) this year.
*(stolen from Will D. Campbell's Brother to a Dragonfly)
