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| summer conceptualized |
June is the best month of the year. Some may disagree but they're wrong. What
makes June so great? It is peak summer. Not actually, summer doesn't officially begin until its twentieth day, but conceptually. There's no school for kids and its big vacation time for adults. It's
warm but not too hot. Cool air can still be found in the mornings and on
the mountains. It's a dry month too. These conditions combine for a
uniquely wonderful thirty days of playing outside. You can ride your
bike in the cool morning air or chase the shade at the local crag and
then spend the afternoon at the nearest swimming hole. My Mountain Project and Strava activity peak during this glorious summer month. In short, June is kind of perfect.
The other months, ranked:
12. September: You
can yell at me all you want. "SENDtember" sucks. It's hot. Really
hot. But we have all been convinced by somebody, somewhere that it
shouldn't be. We've been duped to believe that heat no longer exists
after Labor Day. And while that may have been true at one point in history, Sendtember is wishful thinking in a rapidly warming
world.
11. February: Thank God "January 2.0" is 1-3 days shorter than all the other months.
10. August: You
know the back sweat that develops as you walk the twenty yards across
the parking lot to your car after a long day at work? And how your
underwear turns into a swamp as you drive home in your sauna car?
That's what August is. Back sweat and swamp butt.
9. January: Nobody loves January except for the first day of the month and even that's about the last day of December. Whatever the initial high of New Years' and its resolutions was, they quickly wear off during the month's cold, wet, dark days.
8. July: Don't tread on me, Thomas Jefferson. TJ sucked and so does this month. Here's my July Fourth playlist. Suck on that, Nathan's Hot Dogs.
7. March: You
have heard it said that "April showers bring May flowers," but down
here it's really March showers and they make one dour (thesauruses are
amazing). March is tricky. It doesn't know what it wants to be. March will have you scraping ice off your truck and then wearing a t-shirt
a day later.
6. December: December could move up and down the list depending on your thoughts about bouldering. The air is cool but not yet frigid and it's generally dry which makes for great friction. For other outdoor activities, it sits right in the middle. Whatever you're doing, remember a headlamp because these days are woefully short.
5. April: April is amazing.
Creeks are swelling, flowers are blossoming, and primo temperatures are
begging for you to play outside. But there's a catch: pollen. This yellow powder from hell is everywhere and will destroy your nose and throat. May God have mercy on your soul.
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| Rocktober |
4. October: Congratulations! You made it through the false start of fall that is September and made it to "ROCKtober."
This is the month that many climbers start coming out of their gym
rat-holes and see the sun for the first time since spring. October
promises send temperatures and autumnal colors but a word of caution:
it's getting warmer. And unless ExxonMobile and others like it stop belching carbon dioxide into
the atmosphere, Rocktober may soon be a thing of the past too.
3. May: May is America's favorite month. I think, more than anything else, May is a season of hope. The floor is
full of maps and your browser is bogged down with 47 tabs as you plan
for the endless possibilities of summer. May's weather lends itself toward spending
lots of hours outside training for bigger objectives. And that's the
thing: May is good but it's largely spent longing for something better.
You also still have to deal with pollen. That's why it gets bronze.
2. November: This is
it. The apex of the "cooler"months. There's a crisp chill in the air. The trees are bursting with all the radiant, short-lived, first
three colors of the ROYGBIV scale. A day spent bike riding, rock
climbing, or trail running among all the arboreal splendor and capped by an
evening in your puffy jacket, around the bonfire with a beer and pie in
hand, is the pinnacle of living! So what makes it #2 to June? Work,
school, long nights, and other structural barriers to enjoying those
sweet autumnal days.
1. June: June rules. Let the stoke overfloweth.
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