Monday, December 21, 2020

Coffee Political Compass

I've put a lot of thought into this but I reserve the right to be wrong about everything. 

The moka pot is authoritarian-left because it's working-class espresso. There are some rules and regulations. When the rules are followed it works and it works well. But when the rules are broken it is as brutal and unforgiving a cup as winter in the gulags.  

The Chemex is authoritarian-right but in a fun, weird, Catholic integralism kind of way. The Chemex is for people who like to control every aspect of the brewing process. There are rules but, like medieval art, when followed it renders something exquisite, meaningful, and beautiful. 

The Aeropress is libertarian-right because of the Elon Musk level of nerdy experimentation that it encourages, even if it means disastrous negative consequences. Also, it is cheap, plastic, and looks like drug paraphernalia.

The French Press is libertarian-left. It is laissez faire in its attitude toward how much coffee and how much water you put into it; you can French Press without even thinking. It is also a bland and feckless cup of coffee because, despite its best intentions, it demands nothing and therefore achieves nothing.   

Thoughts? Comments? Cries of disbelief? Leave them in the comments. 

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