Dirtbag Tips: Compact Car Camping

(via instagram)

Kyle has a Ford Ranger. Russ has a Grand Cherokee. Eli has a Subaru. Paul has a wooly mammoth aka Chevy Tahoe. 

And I have a Honda Civic. 

The Civic isn't exactly the dirtbag car of choice. While gas mileage is a definite plus, I've slept on love seats with more snooze space than the backseat of my car. 

So when we've got the hankering to put our fingers on stone and our friends can't make the trip and primitive camping isn't an option -- what are us compact car guys and girls supposed to do? If buying a small pick-up truck is not a financial option and you don't have chronic back problems, keep reading. 

Sleeping situations are notably limited. I know I'm stating the obvious but if you don't know, now you know. The way I see it, there are two options:

1. "The Snuggle" or "Ball Method" - in this method the camper sleeps horizontally in the back seat "snuggled up" with legs tucked moderately towards the chest to ensure the whole body fits between the frame of the vehicle. Side sleepers will find this option preferable.

(backseat sleeping on a cold night in Sand Rock, AL)

PROS: sleeping on a flat surface; who doesn't like to get into a toasty little snuggle ball?
CONS: must sleep on your side; middle seat belt buckles probing you the entire night; who can stay scrunched up for that long?

2. "The Dentist Chair Method" - in this method the camper sleeps in one of the two front pilot seats, fully reclined, resembling a dentist chair. Back sleepers will find this option preferable.

PROS: sleeps two uncomfortably; easy access to ignition in case of axe murderer.
CONS: sleeps too uncomfortably; even fully reclined the chair still sleeps at an angle. 

There's also this thing: the inflatable car bed. Someone posted this on my facebook wall a while back and I'm not internet savvy enough to know if it actually exists in the realm of real world retail. And even if it was, the bed is still as short as the space between car doors, so I'm not sure how practical it would be. Still, cool idea.  

Let's be real, the nature of car sleeping is never glamorous. Just look at this gem of a picture, snapped around 1am after the rain chased us from our comfortable slumber on the beach. 

Russ and I sleep Dentist Chair Style while Kyle does the Ball Method (and other things).

The reality of a situation that requires you to even consider sleeping inside your car as opposed to a tent or hammock or crash pad or even picnic table is that you're getting 4 hours of sleep, tops. Most likely in a Wal Mart parking lot somewhere in a city you don't even know the name of. Which probably means you're headed somewhere special and great, so suck it up.