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| "Yosemite Slab" |
V0 -- the shudras of the bouldering caste system. It's the grade you warm up on or the grade you aspire to move on from. They are the boulders you walk past to get to your project or your well-rehearsed circuit. Nobody's spraying about V0 on Instagram or Mountain Project or 8a but there are some really great problems at the grade. Boulders that stand on their own as absolute classics despite their diminutive difficulty.
Perhaps V0 is your warm up or your cool down grade. Maybe V0 is your limit or your project as you begin climbing outside. Or maybe, if you're like me, you have been training for a 50K and you have neglected your forearms and lat muscles and fingers for so long V0 is all you can manage to send when you finally make it back out to the boulders with your buds. Whatever V0 is for you, below are some southern classics that should not be missed regardless of your climbing ability. Boulders that are megasplitter uberclassics but don't get the love they deserve because of their low end v-scale.
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| Cheesecake Arete |
Honorable mention is due to Zahnd's "Cheesecake Arete." This tall line up a picture perfect bloc in Zahnd's aptly named zone, "Land of Arete's" is unmistakable; walk around long enough and you'll see it. A perfect slice of tasty southern sandstone. The crux is standing up at the top without falling off either side. It falls just outside the Top 5 only because it's over too quick!
5. Easy Crack -- Boat Rock, GA
Boat Rock's de facto warm up is so good it has its own t-shirt designed after it. Just a short walk from the entrance, it allows one to sink one's paws into the area's sharp and abrasive granite before padding up precarious slabs all day. Despite its earned reputation as a slab mecca, Boat Rock has a lovely crack circuit to get gobie'd up on. You'll wish "Easy Crack" went on for a full pitch... or four.
4. El Classico -- Rocktown, GA
Slabs generally lend themselves well to the V0 grade because their low angle makes otherwise diminutive holds seem like bucket jugs in the gym. This one should be done every trip down to Rocktown.
3. Donkey Show -- Horse Shoe Canyon Ranch, AR
Low angle cracks and slabs don't do it for you? Travel to the Ozarks and try Horse Shoe Canyon Ranch's "Donkey Show." Follow the line of steep hero jugs to ≈ twenty-feet. Sally up for the crux and continue to the top. If it were any longer it would be 14c at the Red.
2. Jaws -- Sand Rock, AL
Is it a trad lead, a top-rope, or a boulder? "Jaws" toys with the grey area between bouldering, soloing, and third class mountaineering. Whichever way you do it -- and for the purposes of this blog, you should boulder it -- you'll enjoy the in-cuts and horns on this butt puckering arete. Don't blow it at the top! Just remember it's V0 (or that dreaded, archaic, sandbagged 5.9+) so it's all there.
1. Yosemite Slab -- Jackson Falls, IL
For this one, we must, as reluctant we may be, venture north of the Mason-Dixon Line. Illinois may not be geographically Southern but southern Illinois, with it's Kentucky and Missouri neighbors, gets an honorary position. And "Yosemite Slab" is worthy of its honor: a mammoth, beautiful, and seemingly blank piece of stone smack in the middle of the Prairie State's grandest canyon. It is perhaps the most iconic and classic V0 this side of the Mississippi River. It is tall, daunting, and plain ol' fun.
On a weekend solo adventure a few winters ago, I went out to the Falls and ran laps on this rig in between chapters of Brian Panowich's Bull Mountain. It is the only thing I have climbed at Jackson Falls and I could easily be persuaded to return and do the same again. It's just that good.
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What did I miss? Tell me in the comments.
Forth coming: 5 Classic Southern Party Trick Boulders...
Forth coming: 5 Classic Southern Party Trick Boulders...